Nobody wants help and yet we all stand in need of it. I don't fully understand how this came to be. I have been taking my time in looking at this subject because I was concerned I would come off a bit too insensitive. Everywhere you look there is pain, but there is also joy. People have a great power to overcome their troubles. So what makes it such a burden to ask for help when we're struggling?

There are a few reasons, but let's start with the idea that we like having excuses. It's a result of pride that we need to blame some external force for our failures. It is significantly easier to say that a barrier exists between us and our goals than to climb the barrier and surpass expectations. Life is hard, but at the same time it can be extremely rewarding. What do you want out of life? There is so much from which to choose and, yet, I can almost guarantee you will have to overcome some level of adversity to obtain it.

Many will ask, "What if I cannot overcome my trial?" This is a common occurrence and is not the end of one's story because it is part of the hero's journey to fail at least on our first confrontation with our trial. We will all stumble and fail from time to time but we do not fail until we give up entirely. Truthfully, there will be some obstacles that we cannot pass until we are willing to accept help from others around us. If you're 5'2" and you want something off the top shelf, there is nothing you can do in your own power to grab the object of your desire. There might be a taller individual nearby or a worker who will lend a stepping stool. How often would we forgo the item we wanted so dearly in an effort to not burden someone else? It appears to me that it is a growing trend. We do not seek, nor accept help that would improve our lives and then punish ourselves internally for lacking the ability to gain what we desire.

There has been a great increase for mental health awareness and resources for addressing the issues. It would seem that diagnoses of anxiety and depression are ever rising. There is reason for it, undoubtedly, but the recovery from such illness significantly lags behind the rising diagnoses. I do not mean to imply that overcoming such difficulty is easy. To the contrary, it can be extremely difficult. My opinion is that there is hypocrisy in the ongoing social media coverage of mental health. Many beg for it to be treated like a physical illness such as a cold or a broken arm when interacting with their employers. In the case of a broken arm, there is a recovery process designated by medical professionals. There is frequently a physical therapy process that individuals go through to regain full functionality of their arm. This process is anything but comfortable and is not performed in solitude. Repairing your mind to work with you rather than against you is not a simple task and can take a lifetime to master. That being said, we can reach the top shelf in spite of our own natural deficiencies through working with others. There is no purpose in receiving knowledge of your depression or anxiety if you don't plan to do anything about it. What I mean to say, is that you should discover what it is that restrains you and use your new knowledge to liberate yourself. This is the correct course of action to take in place of gaining that knowledge for the purpose of garnering an excuse for why you fail.

Somehow we have to let go of the excuses we love so much. Individual progress can be made regardless of external factors. What do we gain by complaining that our failures are the results of the unfair elements of life? Sadly, life isn't fair. It is not likely to become fair anytime in the near future. We need to conquer ourselves, especially our self-doubt that hinders our march towards our aspirations. This includes, but is not limited to, allowing others to help us. The balance I find hardest to strike, is weighing how much you should attempt to help someone who does not wish to be helped. You never wish to abandon those for whom you care so deeply. At the same time, it takes a toll on your soul watching them suffer needlessly over and over again. I tend to stay longer than that which has been requested of me. If I were to err, I'd say it is best to err on the side of trying to be of assistance to point of annoyance, rather than giving up too soon. You will never be able to perfectly determine when a person has reached their breaking point. You don't know when they are going to reach out to you for support. It is only your job to let them know you are there for them at the moment they require it. (While remaining within your means.) Constant friendly nudges indicating that you have a ladder prepared should they want to reach that top shelf have the potential to give a safe space to many who are struggling.

Ultimately it is time to make a switch from excuses for why we fail, to excuses for why we will succeed. When we cannot get through it by ourselves we will necessarily have to accept outside help. If external forces can work against us, surely they are allowed to work for us as well. Prepare yourself to be in a position to pay it forward. Learn to both accept and give help as the situations demand and that top shelf won't look like it's so far away.

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