MAKUHARI, Japan — Silver is the heaviest metal at the Olympic Games.
A silver medal is worn with the smile of a job well done, but also carries the weight of what might have been.
"Isn't it pretty?" said wrestler Adeline Gray, a silver medal dangling from her neck. "It's really heavy … I put it on and thought, 'I don't think I can wear this all day.'"
Yes, silver shines. It ain't gold, though.
We all know there's absolutely no shame in second place at the Olympics. But after Germany's Aline Rotter-Focken routed Gray 7-3 Monday to claim the freestyle championship at 76 kilograms, a wrestler raised in Denver looked her hard truths dead in the eye.
"A silver medal is not what I came for. But it's what I have," Gray said. "I'm very proud to bring home a medal from the Olympics for Team USA. I wanted it to be a different color."
America has gone soft, gotten a little emotionally flabby on a steady diet of don't worry, be happy. That's why I'm here to give Gray a standing ovation.
After falling just short of achieving a dream chased the majority of her 30 years on earth, here was a competitor unafraid to grapple with raw and conflicting emotions, with the blunt honesty to admit she was both proud and ticked at the same time.
How she reacted to defeat in the biggest match of her life was a measure of the strength in her soul, big and bold enough to be capable of feeling both delight and disappointment in the same heartbeat. It's the same strength that allowed Gray to fight back from a serious shoulder injury that required three years to fully heal. And think training during a pandemic is easy? Not in a sport that doesn't mix with social distancing.
"It's been a tough couple years, and (silver) is more than I would've had if I didn't come back," Gray said.
She won three matches in Japan, then picked a lousy time to have a bad day at the office.
There was steely determination in her gait as she marched to the mat at Makuhari Messe Hall, a fancy name for a big, gray barn that looks as if were built for monster trucks or livestock shows. Her foe was a dear friend in the pioneering sorority of elite wrestlers. Rotter-Focken doesn't own the spiffy resume of Gray, a five-time world champion. But as the 30-year-old German told me 24 hours earlier: "I will attack her. I will put her under pressure and see how she reacts."
By nature, Gray plans everything to the nth degree.
Spontaneity is not her thing. Maybe that explains why she came out looking robotic in the championship match, following her game plan so assiduously she forget to have fun, giving away a point to Rotter-Focken almost immediately through a penalty imposed for being too passive and tentative.
Trailing 1-0, perhaps Gray over-reacted, lunging at the legs of her foe, who dodged the bull rush as deftly as a matador. Using Gray's aggression against her, Rotter-Focken quickly built her lead to 7-0 and deftly avoiding the grip of any serious danger.
"Kudos to good defense," Gray said. "I'm a big, strong woman. But she put her hips into me and squashed me to the ground."
Making excuses isn't Gray's style. She was born and raised in the Rocky Mountains, where we never look for a soft place to land, no matter how slippery the slope. While grateful to represent America at the Olympics, there are days like this one, Gray bluntly admitted, when she's bummed her best isn't good enough.
"This is really, really hard. Wrestling is painful," Gray said. "There are days when you just don't want to do it. Every single person with a job has those kind of days. Mine just comes with a little more punch in the face."
But wrestling is what defines her. The sport has allowed her to travel the world. The sport introduced her to the man she married. In a sweaty wrestling room, where there's nowhere to hide, the sport dares even a strong will to quit. But refuse to walk away and the sport worms its way into the heart of anyone who loves it.
The highest praise in wrestling is: Leave it all on the mat. And that fierce pride in fighting until the last bead of sweat splats on the mat has fostered one of the coolest traditions in the sport. Upon retirement, before walking away for the final time, a competitor removes wrestling shoes worn into combat and leaves them on the mat as proof there's nothing left to give.
After losing in the Olympic finals, Gray said: "I didn't take my shoes off here for a reason."
Wrestling has double-dog dared Gray to quit a gazillion times. When is the sport going to learn she's not the retiring type?
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