A Nissan Pathfinder Takes 4 Gay Lads Glamping

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Apr 30

After the Pathfinder review, it seemed churlish not to get out of town for quiet, stress-relieving weekend. 4 people in a camper seems like a recipe for disaster, especially as none of them has so much a touched tent. In our case, we towed a pop out camper owned by a friend of a friend, of a friend

It turns out an off-grid camper is more fun than it sounds.

There is much to consider when taking 4 bods, tucker, water, and booze, don't forget the booze, on a trip. For this off-road excursion, we were fully instructed in gross vehicle mass, how to pack the SUV and the camper setup. While most of us lapsed into a soporific stupor, one of us paid attention. Casper is the handsome-yet-nerdy one, and discovered that although the 2440kg trailer can be loaded with 660kg in goodies, the Pathfinder has a maximum of 2700kg, or 330kg of gear. The Pathfinder weighs 2040kg and can take a max of 2750kg. In other words, you can't load both vehicles to the gunnels.

We panicked. Might that mean that Nico leaving his hair dryer at home? He gets an attack of the vapours at the thought of man-made fabric on an inner layer.

With the 4 of us packing prudently, the total weight of car, trailer, dudes, and stuff, was a full 700kg less than the max, HOORAH! FYI, Nico did not pack the hair dryer.

We took turns with the Pathfinder on TOW mode, but wondered what would happen if we needed TOW and one of the OFF-ROAD modes at the same time. 202kw is plenty, but you need to watch the speed as the slippery track becomes more treacherous.

Travis, Nico, Casper and I had never been for a more-than-24hr trip. In fact, as a foursome, we'd not done more than a debauched night staggering down Oxford Street.

Our destination was a small clearing at the end of a track 4km off a quiet country lane. The land owner, Max's friend of several encounters, gave us some somewhat nebulous directions so we were as good as on our own.

Setting up took several hours, with the unrehearsed ballet needing a suck-it-and-see attitude. We had water nearby, plenty of sun, and a genny for emergencies. Importantly, there was no cell range and a goodly supply of cocktail doings.

There were 4 nights all up, and days we spent lazing in the natural rock pools and drinking copious amounts of tasty beverages. All cooking was on the outdoor BBQ, as were the (heated) showers, even though both facilities are available indoors.

Travis turns out to be quite the chef, and set us up with posh nosh, morning noon, and night. The rest of us ate, drank and made merry, and did the dishes. Travis can cook and drink at the same time, like every BBQ dad, ever.

Night 3 saw rain, albeit brief, so was the only night sans campfire. We sat in the annex, even though the storm was a trifle more lashy than anticipated, sharing stories of holidays past. There is something cosy and comforting about the thinnest of fabric between you, and nature having a hissy fit.

We moved the tables outside first thing in the morning. Travis did a full-English, and Casper picked flowers from beneath the dappled forest canopy: picture Roger Moore and Tony Curtis, with Lord Brett Sinclair's tent complete with chandelier and full gas stove. Though our humble campsite lacked fancy lighting, it would have been impolite not to offer Travis one of our mimosas, Sinclair-style.

We reviewed Pathfinder HERE.

Video Review: 2023 Pathfinder Ti L Revisited FULL REVIEW plus Tech Terms explained #gaycarboys

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The last night was rather sad, as we reflected on the getaway:

Casper:

I don't tow often enough to be au fait with the intricacies and foibles of canvas, gas, and gays without phone reception. I've always considered camping to be something you did if no other choices were available. Waking to the sounds of a kookaburra kooking, and Nico farting, is both wonderful and frightening. Nico should not eat protein, and that's all there is to it.

The Pathfinder was flawless. It featured only in the arrival and departure sequences, but it towed the camper without complaint. I thought I was going to sleep in the car, cos, you know, bugs. It turns out there are no bugs in a netted annex with flexible roll-down siding.

While I'd do it again, 2 couples would make the sleeping arrangements a bit less spit-and-touch-dibs, if you know what I mean.

Nico:

The boys were great. We got along like bonding brothers on a bender. Travis whipped out his best Gordon Ramsey impression, but slightly less sweary. Alan is great at sorting out little things that don't work properly. And, Casper, oh Casper; he is the man with the ability to pack a 4 bedroom house into a matchbox.

We thought we'd be in a middle-Earth dell, lit only by shards of sunlight glinting though near-impenetrable stands of gently-oscillating elms. We thought there'd be a gingham blanky spread on a soft mossy spot, selected at random from a galaxy of sites of soft greenery. The reality is very different.

You come off a slightly muddy, little traversed trail onto a smaller-than-advertised grassy knoll. You spend an hour reverse-parking, in case of an unexpected bush-fire alert (remember, no cell service), then flatten the weeds so the plakky annex floor ccan be laid.

We did the setup while swigging from the same voddy bottle. Germs you say? Well hey, we've all done the glory hole thing, so this is a doddle.

Alan:

This trip was probably 1 step under needing a full-on 4X4 to complete. It wasn't the the fact that I fancied a new Range Rover anyway, but that I very much doubted the veracity of a recommendation from a man who looked like he'd been strumped by a XXXX delivery truck.

Keep in mind that none of us knew the first thing about hitching one thing to another, we made use of youtube while we still had signal. This was also the first weekend Nico didn't spend trawling GRINDR for meaningful conversations like, "Hey", "Hey," followed by what sounds like 2 hookers grunting, while circling a 70-year-old.

The one saving grace was that we had an acre of pillows, and vats-worth of booze. It soon transpired that owning a RAM does not equal the innate ability back up a trailer. Travis, I'm looking at you.

We were useless, one and all. Yet somehow, we managed without driving into a creek, burning down the campsite, or more importantly for a gaggle of gays, unscheduled swapping of body fluids.

Pathfinder felt rather like a gentlemen's club in the middle of the bush, and after 4 nights off the beaten track, made us all feel more convivially disposed to a repeat performance.

One gentle rise left us on the raggedy edge of possibility. We all thought we'd be spending the night at the side of a track rather than the carefully chosen creek-side glade. We took the chance and selected mud, to find Pathfinder was then able to scamper up the hill like a goat on heat.

After a few days, the site resembled a magazine-cover bivouac.

Would we do it again?

It was a beautifully restful mid-week thing. The Pathfinder was perfect PARKES 15 MK3 QUAD was rather cool, but the annex saw possible territorial demarcation disputes. Really, the only thing standing between us and an episode of The Persuaders was the 70's theme music.

Tags: Nissan, nissan pathfinder, nissan SUV, gay camping, gay campers, glamping

Tags: #Nissan, #nissanpathfinder, #nissanSUV, #gaycamping, #gaycampers, #glapmping

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