Dear Amy:
Growing up my childhood was not horrible – just bad. I have PTSD, dissociation, and sleep paralysis because of things that happened during my childhood. Whenever the subject of childhood is brought up, my parents say it was good. If my siblings or I say otherwise it just starts a fight.- Scarred in North Carolina
Dear Scarred:
Given the long-term symptoms you say you experience, I'd offer a gentle correction to your statement that your childhood was "not horrible." You are experiencing symptoms similar to those reported by soldiers returning from the battlefield. Your past seems "horrible" enough. Your choice to get professional help is a great one, and I hope that you continue to discuss your experiences with a qualified therapist.
Dear Amy:
I have a good relationship with my neighbors, who I would describe as "extremely quiet." We only meet over the "backyard fence," where we talk about our gardens. Recently I told them that I was hiring an arborist to trim some trees at the back of my property where it meets theirs. They pointed out two dead trees that they were eager to have removed. I offered to have my guy do it while he was handling mine and they demurred – but then said, "Oh, that would be really nice. Thank you."- Good Neighbor
Dear Good Neighbor:
I think you're really generous. You pressed this solution upon your neighbors and they thanked you in advance. You might be "repaid" in fresh produce later in the season.
Dear Amy:
Like "Cleaning in Culver City," I, too, sent old letters back to my friends, but I didn't send any that mentioned anything painful, such as relationship problems. My friends were delighted and said they felt like they traveled through time. Some couldn't remember the incidents they'd described in their letters, but that made it even more fun. I recommend this to others, but one should curate the letters first.- Pam
Dear Pam:
I have been surprised at the number of people who have reported being quite upset by receiving back letters they had sent years before. When pondering doing this, it is important to recognize that context is really important. "Curating" the material is a good idea.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2023 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
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